YOU GUYS THERE ARE A LOT OF SPOILERS IN HERE, FROM THE FIRST SENTENCE. DO NOT – I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH – DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN THE MOST RECENT GOT EPISODE. Okay? Okay.
We’re now one episode away from Recreation Of Thrones being donezo endlessly, which is wild stuff. So naturally, numerous shit went down on this second-last episode, which noticed Daenerys Targaryen – I imply for those who didn’t know this already, you haven’t learn the quite a few spoiler warnings we’ve pasted on this article’s starting – burninate Kings Touchdown to the bottom. Yep, Dany’s gone full Mad Queen and it was each nice TV and a heartbreaking character arc.
As all the time, me (Mel, Senior Type & Options Editor) and my boss Josie (Head of Editorial) are right here with our Recreation Of Thrones recap to cowl what went down in case you missed one thing. Otherwise you simply needed to learn some lol commentary. Both/or actually.
JOSIE: We open with Varys, Lord of Spice, writing a letter to somebody outing Jon Snow as Aegon Targaryen and the true inheritor to the Iron Throne. In fact Varys can’t assist himself, even in old-timey medieval exhibits there’s all the time a personality who simply lives for the recent goss.
who will spill the tea if not me?
MEL: Varys lives for the tea and I really like him for it, tbh. However earlier than he sends the observe off, he burned it! After which obtained arrested by Daenerys’ henchmen for betraying her bc Tyrion, who retains making TERRIBLE selections, dobbed on him.
JOSIE: Bloody Tyrion continues to make horrible decisions. I feel within the subsequent workplace Kris Kringle, somebody wants to provide him a magic Eight-ball as a result of at this level it will supply extra steerage than his personal silly conscience does? I like that Varys didn’t die earlier than planting some sneaky little seeds in Jon’s head, so it wasn’t all in useless I assume. Regardless that Jon was like **adopts flat Northern British accent** “Eoye don’ wan’ the thronn” for the six thousandth time, it clearly affected him as a result of he can not get it up for his girlfriend / aunt / power-tripping queen.
MEL: Yep, seems just like the romance between Dany and her nephew is completely donezo as a result of that’s the second time she’s gone in for a pash and he’s been like “no thankyou I’m good”. Guess burninating your advisors isn’t Jon’s kink?
‘wow you simply acquired 80% much less scorching’
JOSIE: He merely can’t get off to the burning carcasses of individuals! It’s not his factor. It was a bit awkward on the Burning of Varys as a result of, like, everybody had betrayed Dany and Varys was simply the scapegoat. However I assume that’s why she did it, to make some extent. She even threatened Tyrion later to be like “betray me once more fucko and that’s the final time!”
MEL: In the meantime, as Dany prepares to tackle Cersei and her cronies we see that our favorite comedy spin-off duo Arya & The Hound are galumphing their method into Kings Touchdown!As is Jaime. He’s extra like Eeyore – as a result of he’s unhappy and silly and received caught by the Unsullied earlier than he might make it previous the gates. Cue unhappy Eeyore music.
*zesty caper intro music performs*
JOSIE: Arya & The Hound are so enjoyable! I’d watch that Recreation Of Thrones black comedy spin-off that’s humorous but one way or the other extra graphically violent than Recreation of Thrones. The spin-off I might not watch? The More and more Unhappy Adventures of Jaime Lannister. Truthfully, my take is ever since Jaime received his hand lopped off he’s been a big unhappy sack simply moping round ready to die.
MEL: Significantly! I used to be virtually dissatisfied when Tyrion disobeyed Daenerys and launched him from jail beneath the assumption that Jaime would go “cause” with Cersei. Is Tyrion tripping on some contraband Westeros mushrooms? When has Jaime ever had any sway towards Cersei’s stubbornness? That was fucking ridiculous and truthfully at this level even I might demote Tyrion if I used to be Daenerys. And by demote I imply burn alive, clearly.
JOSIE: I used to be that involved for Tyrion after he let Jaime go. Like if Dany finds out about this you’re so lifeless, bro! Talking of issues being lifeless, I used to be extraordinarily involved once we obtained to Huge Battle Day and it was simply “right here’s 1000000 of the Huge Arrows”. Drogon didn’t go into this with good odds!
sufficient with the Huge Arrows
MEL: You stated “I hate the large arrows” about 40 occasions throughout that opening sequence, when Drogon whizzed down from the sky to burninate all the Iron Fleet. Baiiiii evil octopus boats! They actually went down surprisingly shortly. I’ve to say this – Daenerys actually didn’t nail her dragon technique for the battle towards the lifeless, however scorching rattling has she received it down now. When she blew open the Kings Touchdown gates and destroyed ALL of the Massive Arrows by coming at them sideways? Completely impressed.
JOSIE: My thought is, why not destroy the Massive Arrows and the Iron Fleet once they killed Rhaegar or Rhaegal or regardless of the shit his identify was? All she did was flail round on Drogon for a bit after which retreat! I assume she was in a little bit of shock, however nonetheless. Additionally additional to your level, simply get the TWO DRAGONS to kill all of the wights as an alternative of flailing round within the clouds for two hours? Anyway, we will wring our palms over her previous dragon techniques all we would like, this time she worn out the Massive Arrows in report time. It was humorous when Qyburn got here to Cersei in his normal understated method like “Oh sure hello the whole lot’s on hearth and we’re going to die, simply thought I’d offer you a well mannered heads up” and she or he’s like “However the BIG ARROWS!” and he’s like “Hunny, no”.
“what about only one Huge Arrow, no?”
MEL: He was, as you’ve stated earlier than, ridiculously calm about their fast defeat. He was all “oh no, the arrows are gone too!” When Cersei stated “The Pink Hold will shield us” after which you might hear Drogon within the distance I used to be like, he’s undoubtedly screeching “no it gained’t!” in response. In the meantime, Unhappy Eeyore-aka-Jaime managed to meander right down to the escape boat for the Pink Maintain, however earlier than he might get in to his valuable Cersei, Euron emerged from the water just like the octopussy weirdo he’s.
JOSIE: You would inform Jaime was like “oh for FUCK’S sake simply fuck offff” however as an alternative Euron needed to have each a metaphorical dick swordfight and an precise weapon swordfight with Cersei’s OG boyfriend. When he received the large stab in Jaime’s aspect I used to be actually irritated for Jaime, like is that this how he’s gonna cark it? However he managed to get the killshot by which was good. Euron was such a boring one-note villain character, don’t you assume?
MEL: Oh my god, sure. He was principally Jafar however Westeros-style. Talking of favor, I did actually take pleasure in his ultimate outfit – very bohemian warlord, IMO.
Ocean octopus warlord however make it style.
JOSIE: Like we stated, he appeared like he’d bought that fetching leather-based embossed jacket from a high-end bohemian boutique in Byron Bay for $three,500.
MEL: RIP our most trendy but one-dimensional warlord. Then, it lastly occurred. Dany turned full Mad Queen. I might NOT consider this was how they determined that character’s arc would go, let me inform you. Why are all of the highly effective ladies now simply psychos? I hate it. You simply stored repeating “oh my Christ” “Oh! Good Lord” each time a wall fell over as Dany destroyed the partitions of the town. Which was a variety of “oh my Christ’s”, because it was principally all of the partitions.
JOSIE: I actually hated all these falling bricks! That was loopy. That little bit of pressure after the bell rang was rather well carried out, I assumed. When Dany didn’t retreat it was like, “okay she’s going to shoot hearth at Cersei, fantastic that’s fairly justified”. However then she was simply capturing flames at everybody! She’s gone full Mad Queen and made Cersei seem like Mom Teresa, tbh. I agree with you although, can we not simply have all these bitchy evil “troublesome” ladies in Recreation Of Thrones? It’s such a boring Disney cliché in a method. The lads are all righteous and the lady are cackling and destroying every thing.
come on, guys.
MEL: I truly couldn’t consider it when Dany began burning the townspeople and we noticed youngsters and all these harmless people dying. Like, it’s enjoyable and thrilling that Dany has misplaced the plot and has turned evil, it’s simply fairly shit that season Eight has consisted of all of the highly effective ladies apart from Arya going batshit. Shifting on – we lastly obtained Cleganebowl.
Additionally acquired to see Ser Gregor’s monster-face, well worth the wait
JOSIE: The Hound was like “Arya it is advisable flip again as a result of past this level everybody goes to cark it”. Which was a pleasant foretelling of how Cleganebowl performed out. There’s individuals on this present which are so hell-bent on their very own plans that they don’t thoughts dying as they carry them out. It was the one method that Cleganebowl might finish, actually. What about Qyburn’s anti-climactic dying beforehand although?
MEL: Omg couldn’t consider the killed Westeros’ personal Dr. Frankenstein by simply having his monster push him right into a pile of rocks. Unbelievably beige dying for the scary Doc! Beloved that we obtained Cleganebowl and that it was as bloody and dramatic as anticipated. When The Hound stabbed Gregor within the chest and EYE and couldn’t kill him!? When Gregor went for the previous eye-gougey trick once more! Them FALLING INTO A FIRY DEATH!? Great things.
10/10 would stab once more
JOSIE: He principally simply tossed him apart like he was nothing! He gave you LIFE, Frankenstein! Oh my god, it was truly a hilarious battle. When he was like “fucking simply die would you”! Finally he received his revenge which was good. I do love The Hound, however am unhappy our bound-to-be-a-hit spin-off Arya & The Hound can’t exist now. In the meantime, shoutout to the three hardest working individuals within the Recreation Of Thrones crew this week: the one that does the CGI hearth results, the drone digital camera operator, and the bloody cello participant. That cello participant certainly has RSI by now.
MEL: My god, there was a lot ominous cello on this episode. RIP that cello participant’s fingers, I reckon. So ultimately Jaime made it to Cersei, and the entire time they spoke you and I have been overlaying our eyes as a result of we weren’t positive if it was Actual Jaime, or if the showrunners have been going to do a bait-and-switch on us and Jaime was truly Arya who had come throughout Lifeless Jaime on her method to kill Cersei… however no. Actual Jamie it was.
JOSIE: It was Actual Jaime and I assumed he was gonna pull out his sword and dramatically stab Cersei, as per the prophecy of her little brother killing her. However principally since they have been trapped underground due to all of the rubble they realised they have been doomed so they only hugged and cried and died collectively. Did he technically kill her as a result of he led her to an underground demise lure? Perhaps.
MEL: Look, I’ll argue a unfastened sure to that, he did inform her they’d be safer down there they usually completely weren’t, so. I do know, he was a little bit of a gutless marvel of a personality, actually. I feel his ties to her have been simply far too robust, and in the long run he didn’t need her to die alone. It’s fairly good however not likely the dramatic slaying that everybody was anticipating.
JOSIE: Can we additionally speak about Arya’s little story arc on this episode? She was all hell-bent on killing Cersei too, The Hound needed to forcibly cease her. So then she turned again and was simply principally in a struggle zone. I feel for all of Arya’s bravado she’s nonetheless considerably immature, and she or he undoubtedly noticed the true horrors of conflict on this episode.TBH I used to be OK with that ending for them. I assumed it was somewhat weak for Jaime contemplating he had discovered the lifeless and turned towards Cersei to take action – as in, it felt weak to have his character return to Cersei and die in some rubble. However I assume it was becoming series-wide for them to die collectively.
hmmm revenge was cool til I noticed four,502 harmless individuals die
MEL: ABSOLUTELY AGREE. Arya’s all the time been Mrs Revenge and I feel this confirmed her what pure vengefulness truly appears like – not giving a shit about anybody however your self, actually. She was proper in the midst of Dany’s fire-bombing of Kings Touchdown, seeing the harmless perish. I really feel like that plus The Hound’s phrases to her have flicked a change and we’ll see her having a little bit of a quarter-life-crisis within the season finale. Perhaps she’ll even determine the Woman-life is for her and marry Gendry in any case (no).
JOSIE: Properly a minimum of she scored a brand new horse out of her day in King’s Touchdown, in addition to (in all probability) PTSD. I’m so to see the aftermath of Dany’s actions in subsequent week’s. Jon appeared so devastated, Arya seemed indignant, and you recognize Sansa will probably be like *smunty face* “Hmph, advised ya so.”
MEL: Can we simply shortly talk about how a strong 5 full minutes of this episode – the second final episode of a really brief last season – centred round Arya having a second with a horse.
don’t make Arya a horse woman, or so assist me
JOSIE: And all the time I used to be like “A brick’s gonna hit her” “Somebody’s gonna stab her” “Dany’s gonna shoot hearth at her”. I actually killed the temper for you, I’m sorry.
MEL: Look there was no temper to kill – the lady was patting a horse whereas the whole thing of Kings Touchdown burned round her. It was the worst! Anyway sure, very eager to see how they’re going to cope with their new Mad Queen.
JOSIE: And eager to see who sits on this goddamn Iron Throne. If it even exists after Dany’s little hearth capturing spree!
For extra of Mel and Josie, take a look at our Bachelor In Paradise recaps or All Aussie Thriller Hour podcast.