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Riverdale Turns 50 – S3E15 – American Dreams

Riverdale Turns 50 - S3E15 - American Dreams

Riverdale turns 50 with this episode! And so does FP! I gotta say, Skeet appears good for 50. Heck, he even seems nice for 49. In accordance with IMDB, Skeet gained’t truly be 50 till January 20, 2020.

Gladys surprises the Jones household by taking them to the Cooper home. Shock, she’s Alice Cooper’s nameless purchaser. Betty is shocked that her mother bought the home to the Joneses. FP and Jughead are equally shocked, and need to stroll away from the sale, however Alice is all for promoting. Jughead presents for Betty to maneuver in and stick with them in her previous room. Betty isn’t too positive concerning the concept of dwelling with Jughead’s complete household.

Kill the Pink Paladin

Later, Jughead fills in Archie and Betty that when Warden Norton dedicated suicide, in his information was a Kill the Purple Paladin card. It’s nonetheless in good situation, so it’s clearly not the identical one Ricky had final week. Jughead figures that somebody printed up a number of Kill the Pink Paladin playing cards. Simply what number of are on the market? And who printed them?

Cheryl needs to run away with Toni on a world ski journey. When Toni says she had different plans with the Poisons for that weekend, Cheryl takes it properly, as Cheryl all the time does. Simply kidding. Cheryl has her typical mood tantrum.

Archie confronts Hiram Lodge concerning the Kill the Purple Paladin card. He needs to know what number of have been printed. Lodge says printed 12, giving three to Norton and 9 to Tall Boy. Truce or no truce, Archie nonetheless has 10 questers on the market trying to off him. Hiram provides Archie an inventory of places the place his Gargoyles used to distribute fizzle rocks. Archie will probably discover the questers there.

What are the probabilities that they’d decide this track?

Cheryl pops into La Bon Nui to go to Toni. She’s not glad when she sees Toni on stage, arm in arm with Veronica, singing a duet about dishonest in your girlfriend. Yeesh, that music couldn’t be extra on the nostril.

Alice stops by Skeet’s workplace to ask if he nonetheless loves Gladys, and if nonetheless loves her. Skeet lets Alice down as simply as he can. He must do what must do to maintain his household collectively. I truthfully forgot about this love triangle.

Reggie needs a increase. He’s Veronica’s proper hand man and needs to be Veronica’s enterprise associate. Veronica isn’t loving the thought.

Jughead asks his mother concerning the Cooper home. She claims she got here into the cash by promoting the chop store in Toledo. Gladys tries to play dumb to Jughead’s suspicions of her. Jughead sees by means of her BS at first, and even when it looks like he’s swayed by it, he nonetheless seems suspicious. Gladys needs Jughead to offer the speech at Skeet’s 50th. That will get him to smile for a full three seconds earlier than he’s again to suspecting her. To paraphrase my favourite Ben Affleck line, “Ya suspect, Gladys!”

All that earlier than the title card!

Skeet and Tom Keller lecture the Serpents, er, I imply the deputies, about their new duties.  Earlier than he leaves, Skeet sends the “Boy!” rely to 1.

It’s Coaching Day, starring Skeet and Jughead! Skeet drives Jughead round city in his Sheriff’s automotive. He tells Jughead that he’s most pleased with Jughead and Jelly Bean. He’s excited to maneuver the household to the North Aspect. It’s a brand new, recent begin for the Joneses.

A 1023 known as in at Pop’s! What’s a 1023? Some fizzle rocks junkie freaked out and threw scorching espresso on a buyer. Is a 1023 drug associated, or is it assault? Or is it reserved purely for espresso associated crime?

Cheryl hears from  Nana Rose that Toni is paying Nana Rose lease. Cheryl appears confused. So do I. Why on Earth would Toni assume the Blossom household wants extra money, particularly unasked for?

However did they join on LinkedIn?

Veronica provides Reggie an envelope full of money. She calls it a good beginning wage. Wait, has Reggie not been paid all this time? Reggie’s not pleased “being the employed assist.” He needs a partnership. When Ronnie balks, he bolts.

Archie appears a bit too trusting fo the data Hiram gave him. Jughead, Betty and Archie hit up the native comedian store and stroll in on a candlelit spherical of G&G. Riverdale is a pleasant wanting city, however this store seems like a dump. One out of 5 stars on Yelp. Additionally, how are there not a bunch of Archie or Purple Circle comics on the partitions within the background? The DM isn’t joyful being interrupted and tells them they will’t be again there. Dude, that angle gained’t assist the shop’s Yelp rating.

The DM gained’t inform Archie who has the Purple Paladin card.Veronica fills Betty in on Gladys’s actual enterprise, specifically the Riverdale drug commerce. Betty needs her to inform her every part. Betty says she’ll have to inform Jughead, which Veronica should have realized when she broached the topic.

Jughead needs to counterfeit an addendum to the search to get the challengers out within the open. Betty needs them to stipulate no weapons. Jughead recommends it happen on  a mountaintop, to offer Archie a bonus. Earlier than leaving, Betty tells Jughead the reality about Gladys and her fizzle rocks enterprise. Jughead says he’ll look into it, however doesn’t need assist from Betty.

AA + HL = BFF

Archie stops by Hiram’s once more. That is bizarre. He needs assist discovering a location for his or her quest. Even weirder, Hiram agrees to assist him, and provides Archie the keys to a shut down boxing health club.

The fitness center is in critical disrepair however nonetheless has electrical energy. Who’s been paying this invoice? Jughead has the Serpents gown up as Gargoyles to persuade the gamers on the market that this new message is admittedly coming straight from the Gargoyle King. And he sends Candy Pea out to confirm Betty’s story about his mother.

Reggie ain’t wanting good. He tried stealing his automotive again from Gladys. It didn’t go nicely. To save lots of his pores and skin, Veronica presents to let Gladys host her get together for Skeet at La Bon Nui free of charge. Reggie apologizes after which sasses Veronica all in the identical minute.

What do you name a virgin bellini?

Cheryl exhibits as much as La Bon Nui wanting like a barrel of dynamite about explode. She treats Toni just like the employed assist and instructions her to fetch a bellini. That is going to finish nice, I’m positive. And we get affirmation that La Bon Nui serves minors, until there are virgin bellinis on the market. Ordering a virgin bellini makes as a lot sense as ordering a virgin Cuba libre. It will simply be peach juice, proper?

Archie has a Purple Paladin boxing gown! And we get our first shirtless KJ Apa of the episode. A man broadcasts he’s right here for the Pink Paladin. I feel he’s dressed like Thor. Jughead welcomes the challengers to the Iron Mountain. Each challenger will get three minutes to attempt to defeat the Purple Paladin.

The primary challenger will get one punch in earlier than taking place arduous. The second challenger goes Tyson are Archie and takes a chew out of his shoulder. The third falls with out touchdown a punch. Challenger #four seems like hassle.

Over at a now closed La Bon Nui, Toni catches Cheryl, now in a black catsuit, making an attempt to interrupt into Veronica’s protected. That is an odd showdown that ends in Toni and Cheryl undressing shortly. What was Cheryl’s endgame right here? Did she need to get caught? On the one hand I’m glad they momentarily put aside their points , then again, this scene was written just like the writers cribbed the dialogue from Skinemax and I’m anticipating a sax solo to chop in.

King of the Hill

Challenger four fights previous the bell ring, and Archie punishes him severely for it. Extra challengers go down. Betty’s obtained 11 playing cards. Archie asks if anybody else needs to problem him. One of many previous jail guards present as much as battle. Oh rattling. The guard is massive. He pummels Archie. He telegraphs his ultimate punch although, and Archie uppercuts him him onerous to finish the problem.

In the meantime at La Bon Nui, Toni has Cheryl blindfolded and tied to a chair. I’m glad they’re having this night time of enjoyable, however this doesn’t clear up their very actual issues with one another. Afterwards, as they gown, Toni addresses the elephant within the room. Toni thinks Cheryl has an issue with the Poisons as a result of Toni’s in command of one thing that Cheryl isn’t. Toni feels cooped up in Cheryl’s home. Cheryl isn’t completely happy to listen to any of this and suggests Toni transfer out.

Now these two ought to transfer in collectively.

Archie pays his third go to of the episode to Hiram Lodge. They’re principally greatest buds now. Hiram provides Archie the keys to the fitness center to make amends for launching the Purple Paladin quest within the first place. Hiram tells im there’s no strings hooked up, and truthfully, he couldn’t look extra just like the satan as he says this.

Reggie needs extra from Veronica. Veronica provides him the keys to his automotive, which he purchased from Gladys. Reggie takes the keys and leaves. Geez, these two.

Candy Pea verifies what Betty stated, that Gladys is in control of the drug commerce in Riverdale. When confronted, Gladys fesses up instantly and unrepentantly. She’s not sorry, says so, and will get again to cooking breakfast. She tells Jughead that if he tells Skeet, it’s going to break him. It appears to me like he’s higher off telling him now, what with Skeet being the city sheriff. He and the native drug lord are headed on a collision course ultimately.

Pleased birthday, Skeet!

The drinks are actually flowing for Skeet’s 50th. The Joneses play the a part of the completely satisfied household. Fred Andrews exhibits up for the party and I cry a bit when he hugs FP.

We reduce away to Cheryl’s home. Kevin pops by for a go to. Cheryl shortly declares to him that the city musical goes to now be Heathers, she’s starring it and he’s directing. That’s what this entire scene was. Too bizarre.

Jughead provides his toast. He tells Skeet that he’s had a change that Jughead might by no means provide you with typing on his keyboard at Pops. Jughead says “There’s one thing you want find out about this household,” and the entire place goes silent. Is there the place he thinks it might be inform him the reality about Gladys? Nope. He merely says,  “We’ll all the time be there for you.”

Betty asks Jughead what his plans are going ahead. His reply? “Save Jellybean, shield my dad and run my mother out of city. Do you need to assist?”

RIVERDALE

 

Billy Henehan writes for The Beat. In his free time, he likes to seek out overseas language reprints of Todd McFarlane Spider-Man comics.